 |
This post originally appeared on September 12, 2011.
Parenting Tip # 13 ~ Sharing
I took an early childhood development class years ago and one of the teachers gave a lecture I would never forget. She put sharing into perspective for me and it has shaped the way I deal with it even now.
Kids are ALWAYS expected to share but think about it from an adult’s perspective. Say you spend half an hour shopping. Your cart is full of carefully picked items, you are about to start the second half of your list when a women walks up to you. She smiles politely and says “You’ve had that long enough…it’s my turn now.” As she strolls away with your cart another woman pats you on the shoulder. ”You are so good at sharing.”
Doesn’t that sound ridiculous??? Of course it does. What we adults sometimes forget is that children’s play is like that. We don’t know what they have in mind for a particular item, or how they are feeling about it at that moment.
Here are some tips I used in our preschool, and now use with my kids.
1. Modeling behavior is a BIG ONE! Share with your kids, or other adults. (And really let your kids know when it is hard to share. ”I really want to eat this entire sandwich, but I can see you would really like a bite. I’ll share with you.”)
2. It’s okay to not want to share. When you have a playdate scheduled, spend some time preparing. Look around the room with your little one and decide which things should be put up for the play date. ”I know you have a special love for this car, would you like to put it up while your friends are here? Or maybe you would be excited to see how John uses it!”
3. Point out how it feels to be shared with…”That was so nice of Nancy to let you use the shovel, even though she was using it. How does that feel to you? I wonder how it would feel to be the one sharing!”
Do you have a special trick to inspire sharing?
This post is a part of the Parenting Tip Series.
I know sharing is expected of children. But I remember reading somewhere when Henry was a baby that sharing isn’t truly grasped until age 7 or even 8. Until then, I’ve decided to treat it as a learning opportunity every time. To model sharing like you described as well as empathizing with and showing how nice it feels. He has great moments of sharing and also some screaming ones. I try to take it in stride and remember that he’s too young to really understand yet.
I am new to your page but let me just say u r awesome and very inspiring thanks for sharing!!